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My Marriage is Different

on Tuesday, 24 April 2018. Posted in Blog

‘My marriage is different’ is usually the common response we get from couples going through difficult situations. You will also hear things like – You won’t understand, you haven’t been in my shoes, how dare you judge me?

Stop! Please take a moment to listen; be open-minded and let’s see what this is all about. Why is it that we argue and refuse to learn basic principles or guidelines that can help our marriage, claiming that our temperaments and situations are different? Yet we devour books and learn basic principle about business without thinking of our temperament.

A good example is when learning how to drive:
No matter your temperament, education or strata in society; the basic principle of driving - clutch, brake, accelerator and steering doesn’t change.

We all are mandated to learn the basics and thereafter our temperament or education level determines the finesse we put into it.

For me, I like things fast; so I drive fast and I’m impatient with slow drivers. Now that’s my temperament showing up, it still doesn’t remove the fact that in all these I’m still utilizing the driving principles - Clutch, brake, accelerator and steering. If I accidently stop applying the basic principles of driving, accident is sure and death could occur.

This brings us back to marriage. Yes our temperaments and situations will affect the finesse of our marriage but the basic principle has never changed.

What are the basic principles of marriage?

  • Commitment: taking responsibility to stay the long haul and pay the price.
  • Communication: speaking daily and ensuring that the other understands the message you are passing across, while giving room for feedbacks (or as we call it in KMA ‘Verifying’).
  • Teamwork: Have written goals and expectations of where you both are going (vision) and the part each of you will play in accomplishing these goals (mission).
  • Forgiveness: this is very crucial in building an intimate relationship with your spouse. We should learn the habit of letting go of past hurt and letting God in.
  • Prayer: every marriage will encounter a storm and to survive the storm you need an anchor. This is where prayer comes in.

Don’t forget - EVERY MARRIAGE IS UNIQUELY DIFFERENTLY BUT THE PRINCIPLES THAT DRIVE IT ARE THE SAME.

Love
Ngee & Rich
Founders of Keeping Marriage Alive Initiative
Will two people walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Amos 3:3 (CEB)

Loveskool Singles Hangout

on Tuesday, 25 April 2017. Posted in Blog

#SinglesHangout is a Loveskool event that brings the youth together with the intent to:

- Teach
- Learn
- Bond
- Network
- Grow together
- Dealing with topical issues prevalent in the singles environment
- Light Refreshments.

Are you single or engaged?

Don't miss this forum of like minded ladies/Gentlemen learning and having fun together.

 

Date: Saturday, 29th April, 2017
Time: 3 - 6pm
Venue: 1 Waheed Smith Street, Olive Estate, Opposite Apple Hall, off Ago-Okota Road, Amuwo-odofin, Lagos Nigeria.
Fee: N1000

RSVP - 08097283745, 08176068062, 08037225010
www.keepingmarriagealive.com

THE BALANCED DIET

on Tuesday, 29 August 2017. Posted in Blog

Hi, it’s time for another Saturday diet and interestingly today’s topic is ‘The balanced diet’!

What is a balanced diet?  A balanced diet is a meal that includes all the right nutrients to keep the body healthy and they include – protein, carbohydrate, vitamins, minerals, water, fat and oil.

Today’s balanced diet is different because we are going to look at our marriage/family and the importance of a special balanced diet that it requires/needs.

Every institution has particular components they need to thrive in or grow; it's the same in the marriage/family institution. Without these components or nutrients, there will be a crack in the relationship which will lead to separation and sometimes divorce.

What are these components?

  • Rules: Rules guide and create boundaries that keep the marriage/family safe from harm. This rules are usually discussed and agreed upon together and the children are carried along as they grow older.
  • Your Voice: Every home should always feel like home. To achieve the feeling of home, we must acknowledge the voice and feelings of one another.

In our home we have a saying “ONE VOICE, ONE TEAM, ONE NATION! We might not agree in all things but we have permission to express our opinions with the assurance that it will be received in love. When we shut the voice of our spouse or children down, we shut the door to their heart and love towards us.

  • Laughter: A family that laughs together, lives together! As a family we have learnt to laugh together, laugh at each other’s mistake and also create memories of laughter. A smile or a laugh is like a balm to the soul. When last did you laugh together?
  • Forgive: Forgiveness in marriage/family is unquestionable. Several times hubby and I have sometimes hurt each other knowingly and unknowingly, we have learnt to forgive and discuss it through. As our children are growing up we are learning that they have the capacity to hurt our feelings and vice versa. Forgiveness is a pre-requisite for a long looking relationship.
  • Build: Help one another in building their dreams. Dreams/purpose are integral parts of  every human being. Each time we intentionally find ways to support and build one another’s dream(s) we forge a union/relationship that cannot be easily broken.

Will share a story (but names have been edited) Peter and Prisca have been married for 10 years and seem not to see eye to eye. They have come to a place where Peter moved into the hotel rather than live in the same house with Prisca.

They came for counselling and it was looking like divorce was the only way out, till they tried a project together – building a boys-quarter together. After several months we visited and saw a couple that had something in common and were willing to learn to love again.

Will you make out time this season and begin to establish “The balanced diet” that will keep your home safe from destruction?

Ngee & Rich
(Dr & Mrs. Richard Okonkwo) 
Founders/Habit instructors
www.keepingmarriagealive.com

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Ngee 'n' Rich

Richard & Ngozi Okonkwo, a husband-wife team usually called Ngee & Rich by friends are HABIT INSTRUCTORS and founders of Keeping Marriage Alive Initiative. KMA is a non-profit organization which believes that the “ONENESS” in marriage brings out the beauty in marriage and reflects a healthier society, as God originally intended.

In conjunction with their team; they created "THE ALIVE GAME", a foremost couple board game which has been imparting lives all over the world.....Read More

 

 

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