I remember years ago, a staff member of mine said to me “See how you are kissing your husband. It’s only boyfriend and girlfriend that should exhibit such affection publicly”. I retorted immediately. “Isn’t kissing an expression of love?”

This got me thinking. When did the thief (boyfriend and girlfriend) become the rightful owner of what God has given married couples to enjoy? So, right now, couples rarely kiss, hug, and show affection publicly. But those who actually have no right to publicly display affection are now applauded for this.

What went wrong? Wasn’t the first kiss shared publicly at the altar, confirming the legality of public display of affection in marriage. I have even learned of couples being told that display of public affection can corrupt the children.

Really? In my house, hubby and I display public affection like kissing (not intimately), hugging, calling each other endearing names, and even eating together whenever possible.
Our children have come to see this public display of affection as a stamp of love and what they should look forward to in marriage. They understand that boundaries are set in dating and that one can enjoy in full the display of affection especially kisses, as an expression of our love for one another when the time is right.

Rich says……

We know our temperaments and cultural norms sometimes place a restriction on our display of public affection. Public affection signifies our identification and acknowledgement that this is the person I love and choose to do life with. But it must be balanced with private affection too and should be done as a lifestyle.

Is your house cold because of what you have been told? Or, have you learnt to display affection publicly in a decent manner that helps your spouse feel loved and gives other people the assurance that love is possible?

Today, I ask you to be intentional about loving each other not only in secret but also in public. In doing this, we might change the world from believing that marriage is dead. But seeing marriage as something worth looking forward to and fighting for.

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.”song of solomon 1:2. KJV.


Ngee and Rich
(Dr. Richard and Ngozi Okonkwo)
Relationship Coach/Habit Instructors
Founders – Keeping Marriage Alive Initiative

“Will two people walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Amos 3:3.

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