Last week was our wedding anniversary and as it is our custom for the past 7years, we separate ourselves for 3 – 4 days for our annual vision retreat.
Every company/organization usually set out time to plan the next year and look at how they failed or succeeded in the last year. This is also a crucial factor in marriage. We have been given a charge by God Himself to cleave and become ONE – Genesis 2:24… “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Most people assume that this means doing everything together the same way, at the same time.
Truth be told ‘ONENESS’ or becoming one is simply building a common vision and understanding our roles in achieving this vision. A great example is found in the mating process, bringing our uniqueness – sperm and eggs to form a miracle baby. Another example is Jacob bringing 2 different kinds of sheep and producing a totally different kind because both sheep were seeing the same thing (Genesis 30:37-42).
One of the keys to intimacy in our marriage has being our annual VISION RETREATS.
It has been a reality check with a unique opportunity to see each other through each other’s eyes. We enjoy healthy criticism, encouragement and fun, while setting out practical action plan to achieve our set goals.
Every couple should go on a vision retreat at least once a year.
So then what is ONENESS?
Oneness or becoming one is the ability to come to a place of agreement of what we want our future to be – vision; and setting goals on how to go about it – teamwork and time.
Our marriage began to have a breath of fresh air/live when we instituted our vision retreat -recalibrating and refueling for our marriage and life journey.
Most people ask:
How do you plan a vision retreat?
How do you begin your journey of ONENESS?
1. Set out time away from home together preferably 2 – 4 days.
2. Let each person have a journal that has last year’s vision/goal and also for use in this year’s vision and goal setting (if it’s your first vision retreat, pick a journal that can be used for several years).
3. State areas that will be discussed:
a. Children – their different/unique milestones.
b. Self – Our personal dreams and desires.
c. Marriage – Is our marriage working – communication, sex, friendship, red-flags, and expectations?
d. Finances – Financial goal as a family and as an individual.
e. Business/career – Business goals as individuals and as a couple.
f. Spirituality – Relationship with God and family.
g. Health – Dealing with health issues – exercising, proper dieting etc.
4. Come to an agreement that makes both parties feel they belong – sense of ownership.
5. Run with it, taking note of each other’s area of strength and weakness and how it will affect the outcome of our vision/goals.
6. Finally have quarterly mini vision retreats: 2 – 3 hours or 1 day to keep us going and achieving our desired goals.
Dear friends do you desire to be one; to have your dream marriage? Why don’t you begin with a vision retreat.
Ngee and Rich
Founders of Keeping Marriage Alive Initiative
“Will two people walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Amos 3:3 (CEB).