Ngee says… ‘Flawly’ loved was what came to my mind as I stared at the quotes on my bedside calendar.

Keeping Marriage Alive

‘Flawly’ love might not be a word, but for me it is a summary of the kind of love that stands the test of time.


Examples of ‘flawly’ loved:

a) A spouse after years of marriage and with all sincerity can say to his/her spouse – “I love you”.

b) A parent saying to the teenage/rebellious child I love you.

The world has told us that love is perfect but today, I want to remind us that the person we love is flawed. The difference is, we choose daily to fight to be the best version of ourselves.

Rich says…
Every human has a flaw, but in spite of this we are to grow and become the best version of ourselves by working on both our strengths and weaknesses and live out life to it’s fullest. Remember the flaws in your life are God’s pointers that there is great room for improvement. So roll up your sleeves and get to work!

One of my flaws is my inability to be a kitchen wife! I rather be anywhere than in the kitchen cooking. Though according to my family members – I seem to be a very good cook. Many African marriages can be destroyed by this flaw but hubby and I have found a system that works for us even though there is room for vast improvement.

My husband’s flaw is his inability to manage his words and anger but with us confronting this together; the anger bursts are few and far between. When it does occur, we discuss, forgive and strategically continue to work on it.


Take a few minutes and look at your spouse:

a) Do you choose to love them in spite of their flaws?

b) Or have you given up on each other because of these flaws?

c) Do you accept your flaws, constantly working on them, so you and your marriage can benefit from who you are becoming?

A bad marriage is simply two people who hold unto their flaws but continue to point fingers on the other’s flaw, never seeing each other as a team.

A good marriage is one where the two people are aware of their flaws and have learnt to give excuses or tolerate it, though it could damage their marriage.

A great marriage, is what we all should aim for –
It is a marriage where both understand that we are a team, that our flaws affect the performance of the team and we are willing to work together on the flaws for the purpose of growth as an individual and success for the team cum marriage.

Identify the kind of flawed marriage you have, and aim for a great marriage other couples can emulate.

Dear ‘flawly’ loved couple, we leave you with this scripture –
Genesis 2:25 “they were naked and not ashamed”.


Do you desire a great marriage? Book a counselling session NOW! –

Are you dealing with sexual incompatibility in marriage? This video is for you –


Ngee and Rich 
(Dr Richard and Ngozi Okonkwo)
Relationship Coach/Habit Instructors
Founders – Keeping Marriage Alive Initiative

“Will two people walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Amos 3:3 (CEB).