Have you examined yourself? Few days ago I was in the banking hall, and a customer was demanding for his money. Unfortunately the banks were not paying. He got so upset that he literally poured a drink on the counter and splashed it on us all.

I was so furious that I began to shout, then I had to caution myself and ask why I was so upset. Was the anger about the drink that poured or accumulated aggression? Of course the answer was glaring and I had to retrace my steps and walk away.

When last did you examine your thoughts, circle of friends and actions? Till we take a critical look at who we are becoming and why, we will never address the real issues in our lives.

There are 3 important areas that we need to examine:
  • Thought:

Every action we take began as a seed in our mind. Just like the man in the bank, his frustration was directed to everyone as being his problem. Deep down he knew he could not reach the right people, but he needed a kind of judgment to take place.

What are you thinking right now about your marriage, work and children? Remember that you attract what you think. Therefore feed the thought that drives you closer to your dreams not your fears/failures.

  • Circle of friends:

Research has proven that if there are 4 fools and you join them, sooner than later you will become the 5th fool.

As the scripture says, iron sharpeneth iron, and that is very true. A marathon runner will never surround his/herself with 100 metre friends. This can literally affect her success in the marathon race.

To win in the journey of life, we all must learn to separate acquaintances from friends and friends from the inner circle. Your inner circles should not exceed 5 and everyone in the circle should have a clear understanding of why they are together.

Do you have an inner circle? Are you all clear of why you are together?

  • Your actions:

Hey, stop! Before you take that action ask ‘why’? That singular pause for a second can change the trajectory of your thoughts and give you a clear picture of what the right action is.

I remember a while ago when we were moving houses my husband was looking for our Persian rug and he immediately got upset thinking of who could have carried it. He confronted me about it and I told him lets retrace our steps, an hour later we realized that we left it at the old house, so we called and picked it up.

As we go out and interact with people and situations, let us learn to examine ourselves (thought circle and actions) before coming to a conclusion. If my husband had confronted those that helped us pack, we would have lost that relationship, which was unnecessary.

Dear friends, examine yourself and make objective decisions, do not let social media, societal pressure, friends and even your disposition decide how you act.

Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts” Proverbs 4:23 GNT.

Remember you are a reflection of the friends you keep.

Ngozi (Ngee) Okonkwo,
E.D, KRING Hospital,
Founder, Keeping Marriage Alive Initiative.

Fuel Your Marriage
Tap here to get free daily marriage quotes.
Need counselling or someone to talk to? We are a click away…
Tap here to get our 2 Sides of the Story book written by Ngee & Rich.