Have you seen athletes who run a marathon or a triathlon? Have you heard the advice, to push through the barriers of your pain? You need to remember that when your body is about to give up, you have only used 50% – 60% of your capacity, so push!
This is also true in building our life vision, especially in the area of marriage. Anyone married should have one or two conflicts under their belt. Some have even endured some unimaginable emotional or physical pain, and they seem to have found a way to push through the pain and build. You can also learn to push through the barriers of your pain to achieve your desired purpose, too.
Though what one should take into cognisance is that we are all wired differently. Some of us can only push through a 100 metre dash, some 400 metres, and some 5,000 kilometres. The trick to surviving is therefore to first understand what you want to achieve (vision), what is needed to achieve your desired goal (mission), and if the cost is worth it (capacity).
As we said earlier, everyone is wired to fit into a unique race and pattern of life, like the 100 metres runner, 200 metres, 400 metres, marathon race runner, etc, but if you are not wired for a marathon and you choose to run a marathon, the possibility of damage and even the loss of what we are pursuing is sure.
So, as couples, we have to know our individual capacity and our spouse’s capacity to endure or grow together. Then, one should learn to work from that point of understanding. As Mummy Folu Adeboye once said, “Love is simply understanding”. Permit me to add that, “Love is understanding what you desire, your capacity, and also your spouse’s capacity in achieving the desired goal/vision.”
For singles, we encourage you to look beyond emotions, and ask questions while courting, taking into cognisance each other’s capabilities before saying, “I do”.
What are these capabilities?
- Relationship history.
- Family pattern.
- Personal vision vs. Your vision.
- Temperament.
- Love language.
- Attitude to work.
- Relationship with God.
- Commitment to self-development.
“When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, when the road you are trudging seems all uphill, when the funds are low and the debts are high, and you want to smile but you have to sigh, when care is pressing you down a bit, rest if you must – but don’t you quit!”
“Life is queer with its twist and turns as everyone of us sometime learns, and many a failure turns about, when he might have won had he stuck it out; don’t give up, though the pace seems slow – you might succeed with another blow…”
“Success is failure turned inside out – the silver tint of the clouds of doubt – and you can never tell how close you are, it may be near when it seems afar; so stick to the fight when you are hardest hit – it’s when things get worse that you mustn’t quit!”
- Edgar A. Guest.
For a full understanding of how to navigate through your pain and build a fulfilling life and marriage, you can book a counselling session or attend our upcoming couples’ hangout. The dates are in the flyer, and its contents can be found below, or contact us through this link.
Love,
Ngee (Mrs. Ngozi Okonkwo)
Relationship Coach/Habit Instructor
Convener – Woman and Marriage
Founder Keeping Marriage Alive Initiative.
LOVE IS SERVICE.