Recently, we began watching Squid game as a family. The first episode began with a game called green light,red light. The rules of the game were given and people were eliminated when they broke the rules. It dawned on me as I watched that indeed it is our inability to understand the rules in life and also in marriage that automatically makes you, your greatest enemy!

Every institution has rules that govern them and when those rules are broken, elimination such as conflict, query, demotion, job loss, separation, divorce and much more can occur.

Why is it that we put effort in other areas of our lives but seem to assume that marriage has no rules and your spouse is expendable?

All marriages will go through challenges; it is the ability to stick to the rules of the game in spite of how you feel that separates winners from losers.

Rich says…

We all have enemies, but the enemy within (us) is stuck with us forever, and we most often do not confront him/her with the same determination/tenacity as the enemy from outside.

Hubby and I have battled certain situations in our marriage (some even till date) that sometimes make quitting or taking a break a palatable option. Yet daily, we find ways to ask ourselves questions like:

  • Why did we get married?
  • Is our union part of our life purpose?
  • What legacy are we leaving for our children?
  • Is what we have shared worth throwing away because of ego and hurt?

The blindside of marriage is the inability to acknowledge our part in what is going on in our marriage.

Till we do take responsibility, quitting will always be an attractive option.

Today, we ask that every individual and couple reading this should take a raincheck on how they are running their lives and its negative/positive effect on their relationship.


Ngee and Rich
(Dr. Richard and Ngozi Okonkwo)
Relationship Coach/Habit Instructors
Founders – Keeping Marriage Alive Initiative

“Will two people walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Amos 3:3.

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