What kind of couple are you?

A few years ago, we were invited to speak at a Marriage Safety Initiative and we were opportune to listen to a reverend father who blew me away with his words. “The common problem in marriage is that most women come into marriage with the attitude to learn and most men come with the attitude that they know and both attitudes make all the difference in marriage.”

This brings me to today’s teaching; an excerpt from our speaking engagement on Saturday. As couples, we tend to blame the other for our problems but in reality we have to walk together to find the solutions our marriage needs!

I will use an illustration of 10 (stands as situations of life) and 2 (the couple) to explain the four kinds of couple and we would like you to identify which one you are:
  • The minus couple (10-2=8):

This kind of couple are always blaming one another never acknowledging their roles in the problem or proffering solution. Usually this kind of marriage never lasts.

  • The plus couple (10+2=12):

This kind of couple have understood that their marriage needs help. But they are not comfortable to look for help through books, seminars or counselling. They believe the solution is within themselves and therefore never learn what their marriage really needs. This kind of marriage is filled with fights and quarrels and after sometime they resort to minding their business and stay because of the children or other benefits.

  • The multiplier couple (10×2=20):

This couple are educated and committed to life including their marriage. Usually they build a formidable team; big business and manageable homes. They are admired by so many but the problem seems to come later in years. They realize that though together, true happiness and love seems to elude them. Some in this situation just carry on till death do us part. While some begin to look for new experiences – like a new job, hobby or even have an affair, all in the bid to find what is missing.

  • The squared couple (10×2² = 40):

Are usually couples who might have gone through any of the three phases and have come to a conclusion that their marriage needs God and constant learning.
This kind of couple dedicate their marriage to loving God’s way which requires daily selfless input for the growth of the other and the marriage. Usually such couples build a legacy bigger than themselves and build individual characteristics, which are worth emulating and beneficial to the society as a whole.

So dear reader and friend, what kind of couple are you?

What do you need to change to become the kind of couple you desire?

Remember as couples, that we produce according to the level we know!
Learn to become approved! (2Timothy 2:15 AMPC).

Let us pray:

Lord, grant me the grace to be humble and see my spouse and marriage through your eyes of love; and grace to learn and do what is necessary for our individual and marriage growth in Jesus name, Amen!

Ngee (Mrs. Ngozi Okonkwo)
Relationship Coach/Habit Instructor
Founder Keeping Marriage Alive Initiative.
Couples Hangout Lagos
Free couples breakfast event with Ngee & Rich holds this Saturday. Don’t miss it!
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