Ngee says… All marriages are complex because we human beings are complex in nature. What I call passion may be boring to my spouse; what excites him might be what I cannot stand.

So how do we navigate through these complexities and build a harmonious marriage?

1) Take responsibility for your happiness – Many of us assume that our spouses are in our lives to create and bring happiness. This is not true. You have to intentionally decide to be happy and this in turn attracts happiness from your spouse.

2) Control your thoughts – This was hard for me, because I am a very passionate woman and the disadvantage of being passionate is sensitivity.
Years have passed and I am still learning to control my thoughts when I am hurt, disappointed or things don’t go my way; especially with hubby. Sometimes, I even need to rebuke those thoughts especially when they magnify the faults of my spouse(husband).

Rich says…

We all feel various emotions in different situations. These emotions are real, but we must make sure we respond and not react to situations. Take a moment and think through – “will my actions make things better or worsen them?”

3) We are both flawed – We all usually see ourselves better than we really are; but judge our spouses harsher than we judge ourselves.
Acknowledging that we are both flawed and taking responsibility for our flaws, is the beginning of building a harmonious marriage.

4) Anchoring on God and our vision – Stability in marriage is a process that requires believing that someone higher than you(the Creator), has got you both covered. This is very essential during trying times.
The goal/vision we are building is also another tool that keeps us together even when we feel like quitting or just being plain selfish.

Today, I beckon on you dear friend and reader to manage your emotions and complexities by applying these few steps everyday.

Complexities in marriage also includes sexual incompatibility. Click here to watch the way out.

Want to save your marriage, or help a friend save his/hers ?
Click here to grab our 2 Sides of the Story book; it’s a must read for everyone (Single, engaged and married).

Love,
Ngee and Rich 
(Dr Richard and Ngozi Okonkwo)
Relationship Coach/Habit Instructors
Founders – Keeping Marriage Alive Initiative

“Will two people walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Amos 3:3 (CEB).

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