6 days after Father’s day, I am still reminiscing; looking at my childhood with my father and the vast difference between our relationship and what my children enjoy with their father. This has led me to share my thoughts on fatherhood through the eyes of a child.
Though I have grown up, I am yet to totally forget the effect my father had on my childhood. If I close my eyes, I can still hear my father demanding for a child from my mum, though we were four daughters at that time. I remember the fights, the fear of being home and desperation to be loved.
Fast forward to today, I am married to a man who is intentional about building a relationship with his children. Though we didn’t start this way, we are learning daily that how we treat one another as a couple plays an important role in our children’s formative years.
Fathers, as we are celebrated all around the world today, we must not equate paying bills, school fees, buying toys, etc, as love; rather, it is making out time to be with our families and creating memories with them individually and collectively.
We must give ourselves first then our resources.
Truth be told, a lot of children would prefer their parents to separate (live apart), than the cold war they live in.; where everybody is walking on tiptoe and are never sure what to expect.
So today, I chose to celebrate my husband, the father of my children, including all men who are breaking and rejecting the stereotypical father image, whose role is to command and be feared. Rather, they are taking the role of a listener who leads the family by example.
Many fathers give themselves a pat in the back for their fatherhood role but the true test of fatherhood is what your children and wife say about you when you are not there.
To identify the kind of father you are, please answer these questions:
- Will I want my daughter to be treated the way I treat my wife?
- When last was I home spending time with my family?
- If my child has a problem, can they reach out to me?
- When last did I pray for my family members?
- Do I listen to the needs of my family or is my word law even if it hurts my family?
We pray that all fathers take stock this season. We celebrate fathers who are breaking barriers for their families and we encourage other fathers to step up and become the great role models that they are created to be.
Ngee and Rich
(Dr. Richard and Ngozi Okonkwo)
Relationship Coach/Habit Instructors
Founders – Keeping Marriage Alive Initiative
“Will two people walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Amos 3:3.