I’m sitting and pondering how we got here as a nation, when the fight for fairness, justice and competence had turned around to become a tribal warfare. I am an Igbo Nigerian from the 371 tribes/ethnic groups, and we are identified collectively as Nigerians.
Government has never really provided for us. In my area, road, water, maintenance is a communal effort. Earlier i shared how we had to repair our basketball court at our estate, for all the children to bond and have recreational activities.

Yet, words like β€œ?? ??? ?????? ???? ??? ????” seem to be flying around a lot of people’s lips in this season. Yet, each and everyone of us is contributing our quota to the good of the land.

‘And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and boundaries of their dwelling place.’ Acts 17:26. ESV


???? ????: I remember several years back when i was in primary 5 , i was to go to NMS Zaria for an interview. My parents booked me into a train with two other fellow primary school colleagues for the trip. we travelled for the interview and returned back safely. now no parent would even imagine taking such risk. what has changed? is it culture, religion, education, morals?

Nation building must be our collective goal. Nigeria must stop looking at our differences as competitive tools or platforms that divides us, instead we should harness our differences into an effective and functional blend that would enhance team work, with each region adding value and supplying what it can to the nation called Nigeria

Hubby and I founded Keeping Marriage Alive Initiative, and every marriage that has been helped was simply based on their need for help; bearing in mind that our needs are the same irrespective of tribe.

When did we get here? Why is it so appalling and inhuman to watch us being divided? Should we not ask ourselves where all these began?


The first/primary contact of any individual is the family. What are we preaching/teaching at home? Division above competence? Hate above love? Corruption above justice? I think it’s time we call ourselves to order.Indeed, we have missed our way, and the best way to return to the very basics of human kindness is to share our stories in truth, and begin to heal.


Can we share stories of the likes of Otunba Micheal Balogun (FCMB) and Dr. Alex Ekwueme (Former Vice President of Nigeria).
I have a friend who happens to be a Muslim and Yoruba. He (Babs) has been a great support of our N.G.O, working behind the scenes to make things work. I can list more support from different tribes (my staff, stakeholders who we chose for their competence and not for their tribe).

‘If possible,so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all,’ Romans 12:18 ESV

But today, i look blankly at the news and wonder when my tribe made me less of a Nigerian. I also wonder when your name determines your position and no longer competence.

What do we tell our children? Are we going to pass on this hate that cripples society to our children?
Yes, certain people own Lagos and some other states/land, but it is the collective input of several tribes/ethnic groups that built them. To disregard that is to disrespect the fabric of coexistence that holds our society together.

Nigeria is our home, and we shouldn’t let the politicians and stomach infrastructure individuals decide how we treat one another.


In conclusion, remember nobody wins in the journey of hate. Ask Rwanda (genocide), Nazis and many more.
Respectful coexistence builds a civilized society, and Lagos used to be the center of civilization in Africa, but we are gradually losing it. It’s time to look inward with the future in mind, that we may not destroy what we have collectively built, and are still building as a nation.
??? ????? ???????.

Ngee and Rich
(Dr. Richard and Ngozi Okonkwo)
Relationship Coach/Habit Instructors
Founders – Keeping Marriage Alive Initiative

β€œWill two people walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Amos 3:3.

Tap here to get our 2 Sides of the Story book written by Ngee & Rich.


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