Have you ever heard of Nigeria, or are you a citizen? Then you know that a lot of great prophecies have been spoken about Nigeria; yet it seems like those promises, potentials and prophecies are far fetched. This is how many marriages are too. They’re in love, full of potential, yet many marriages are like Nigeria, they keep falling terribly short.
  Many will ask, why the comparison? I will share key similarities between both and leave you to be the judge.


1. Nigeria is blessed with many natural resources, yet is still poor. So are most marriages. Both the husband and wife are blessed with great gifts; yet their marriages are poor- lacking love, trust and friendship.
2. Competition has truncated the growth of Nigeria. Too many people who are short-sighted in their decisions have destroyed Nigeria. That is how many marriages are. Couples make decisions with their selves in mind. They are so short-sighted, that they would rather enjoy today’s pleasure and lose out on tomorrow’s treasure.
3. Nigeria queries anyone who points out their flaws, claiming that honor and love is closing our eyes and clapping for the decadence we see in our nation. Many couples seem to have the same attitude; love ME as I am, even if it destroys US. How can you sit down and clap for the enemy in the camp?
4. In Nigeria, we behave like we are a great nation. Unfortunately, nobody is willing to pay the price that begets the success we have been called to. Now this is apparent in most marriages. We have  a problem where we refuse to take responsibility for our own roles or parts and work on it. Rather, we keep waiting for the one day things will workout by itself.
5. Nigerians like turning every situation to a joke- “Abeg, let’s laugh a little”. Maybe it’s the fear to look critically on the problem and take decisive actions/solutions. Many marriages are like this too, displaying a packaged front filled with laughter and love. But when nobody is watching, there is nothing to write home about their union.
 My fellow friends and Nigerians, no one can change Nigeria till we begin to change ourselves. So it is in our marriage. Nothing changes till we take responsibility for our part and begin to change!


No one in history ever succeeded by conquering others. However, all who learnt to conquer self succeeded beyond their expectations.
    It is time to conquer self and see miracles happen that we have longed for.


Ngee (Mrs. Ngozi Okonkwo)
Relationship Coach/Habit Instructor 
Convener – Woman and Marriage
Founder Keeping Marriage Alive Initiative.