We all have various dreams, for me; I use to wish I was born in Washington DC and had extremely rich parents; I can go on and on. But in reality I was born into a very average family, had to go through a lot of trials and hard times but never lacked the love of my immediate family.This goes to show that the reality we are faced with often times does not coincide with the dreams we have in our heart. The question then is how we can strike a balance between our dreams and our present reality especially as singles.

Individuals especially ladies after watching Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and Snow white choose to remember the beautiful ending but forget the hardships they had to endure that led to the great ending. I love the Cinderella story mainly because she had a dream, a positive attitude and never gave up on her dream.It is therefore paramount for all of us to have dreams of the kind of man/woman we want, hold on to that dream and then work with the people around us in achieving that dream. Some important areas where reality must be balanced with our dreams especially in choosing our life partner are:

·         Physical Appearance

We all love beautiful and handsome looking girls and boys but in reality we all cannot marry or date the good looking ones; moreover God made everything beautiful.

Beauty fades but good character and a great heart are more important. If you marry a handsome guy that beats you up soon enough he begins to look very ugly to his spouse. A lady that cannot cook or do house chores after sometime begins to lose her beauty to her husband.

·         Social Class

This affects the very rich mainly because their family mounts constant pressure on them to marry from their social class or circle in order to gain more prominent positions or increase their family fortune.

·         Tribe/Ethnicity

A lot of people especially Nigerians often times have aa dream of the ethnic group/tribe they want to marry into. Igbo’s want to marry Igbo’s, Yoruba’s are more comfortable with a Yoruba spouse, and it goes on and on. Some individuals are even pickier and want to marry someone from the same state with them.

God presents us with partners from different tribes but because of our tribal differences we often miss out on God’s plan.

·         Religious Denominations

Even among Christians today we feel a need to belong to a particular denomination. This even goes further in affecting our choice of a marriage partner. Some Christian denominations enlighten their youth not to marry from other denominations especially the ladies and sometimes this makes it harder for individuals to marry their God ordained spouse.

My final take on this is that singles should adequately marry the reality on ground to the dreams in their heart ensuring that they do not miss out on Gods plan waiting for a dream that can never become reality or live a mediocre life devoid of dreams because of your present reality.

“It is difficult to say what is impossible for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow.”–Unknown

By Amaka Nzeribe,

Director – Keeping Marriage Alive Initiative

C.E.O – Blowglow Concept