We are sitting face -to– face with this couple and they share their experiences – 1 partner or sometimes the 2 of them are surprised at how they got to this place.

This is common with 80% of couples or singles that comes for counseling. They talk about their situations without realizing that their DAILY STRUGGLES or CHOICES have brought them here.

We just don’t wake up into a divorce, separation and much more. The situations came and our choices determined the pathway we would take.

The surprising thing about these pathways is that each pathway has a different scenario that leads to a different outcome.

Yes, there are things we can’t control like rape, loss of a job, death of a loved and much more; but we can choose our reaction and attitude towards the situation.

To make better choices that we desire; we have to 1^st identify

1.  Where you are going to (goals)
2. What it will cost you (expected cost)
3. What you don’t want to lose (essentials)

To help you understand better let’s take a look at my personal example:

1. Where am I going to – Goals

• To have helped 5,000 to 10,000 marriages in 5years

1. What will it cost me (expected cost)

• Time, finances, travelling a lot.

1. What I don’t want to lose (essentials)

• My marriage, seeing my children grow up, my intimate relationship with God.

What have I done in this simple task? I have charted a path that will help me see what tomorrow will look like, what it will cost me and what I want to still have when I arrive at my expected goal.

Daily I’m faced with situations that require me to compromise my goal or essentials but because I have them written down not only on paper but in my heart; I have learnt to ask myself what will the outcome be as I make my daily decisions.

Few years ago I took a lesson from my tailor – he died while trying to meet up the demands of his clients. Some days he didn’t go home at all – his family was affected, his health was affected and finally it cost him his life.

I was among those his special clients that he will stay awake to sow for, yet it took me 6months to realize he was dead.

The value of a thing is majorly determined by the various cost attached to it. Can we accommodate or afford the cost our choices or decisions impose on us? Luke 14:28-30.

Let’s think thoroughly before we make choices even the small choices; as those choices can make or mar us.

My dear as you read this, ask yourself – what is the cost of my dream and if I look back years to come, will I be happy with the daily struggles cum choices I have made­­?

… today I put before you; life and death choose!! Deuteronomy 30:19.

Love,

Ngee & Rich

Founders of Keeping Marriage Alive Initiative

“Will two people walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Amos 3:3 (CEB).