YOUR MARRIAGE NEEDS REAL LOVE!

on Friday, 04 May 2018. Posted in Blog

Are you married or engaged?

What your marriage needs to succeed and weather the storms of life is Real Love.

If you read last week's blog (my marriage is different), we talked about foundational habits but we didn’t talk about Love. The reason is that love is an all encompassing topic/subject and cannot be fully addressed in 2-3 sentences.

So today let's talk about love; the kind of love that holds marriage(s). Wewill talk about REAL LOVE not as the world defines it but as we have come to see and understand it.

Few days ago, hubby and I were discussing about the greatest gift  we can give one another/mankind is love.Love breaks barriers, it’s selfless, sacrifices and still stretches a hand in spite of the hurt.What then is love? Love is so simple that we sometimes miss it in our everyday lives.

•Love is the ability to meet a need in the life of another. For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son.

  • God met the need of redemption in our lives and that’s why we love Him so much!

Let’s get back to marriage –

No matter how much I wanted my husband to love me, it just couldn’t happen! After much ups and downs, I began to release him to God daily – ‘I began to pray daily  to love him through God’s eyes’ and finding ways to help him live a better life. When we sat down for discussions, the conversation wasn’t about my needs alone but also about his needs/dreams too.I began to see myself as an INVESTOR investing into God’s greatest gift to me.

Months passed before any dividend was seen but when the dividends/results began to show, I was struck in awe!

Hubby began to see me as priority, he also began to invest in me even beyond what I did or still do for him. Our love for each other began to deepen, we began to grow in ways we didn’t know we needed to grow. Our greatest joy became seeing the other happy and fulfiling purpose.

Years have passed, he’s still my ‘NUMERO UNO’, our love is growing deeper, we’re enjoying each other’s company and yet comfortable in our space. Am his greatest  cheerleader and he’s mine! No doubt once in a while, the selfish part of us does come out but it’s once in a while and we are permitted to caution one another in love not criticism or force.

Question most people ask is how can I develop REAL LOVE –

  • Meeting a need in the life of your spouse.
  • Let truth be your standard – naked and not ashamed
  • Accountability: Give room to be corrected by one another.
  • Time: Spend intentional time with one another
  • Share your dreams: Create space for your spouse to be part of your dreams.
  • Pray together, pray for each other; this is very crucial.
  • Learning process: Give room for mistakes, forgive, learn from it and give yourselves another chance.
  • Don’t be God in your spouse's life. He/She has only one God.

Love
Ngee & Rich
Founders of Keeping Marriage Alive Initiative
("Will two people walk together unless they have agreed to do so?") AMOS 3:3 (CEB)

My Marriage is Different

on Tuesday, 24 April 2018. Posted in Blog

‘My marriage is different’ is usually the common response we get from couples going through difficult situations. You will also hear things like – You won’t understand, you haven’t been in my shoes, how dare you judge me?

Stop! Please take a moment to listen; be open-minded and let’s see what this is all about. Why is it that we argue and refuse to learn basic principles or guidelines that can help our marriage, claiming that our temperaments and situations are different? Yet we devour books and learn basic principle about business without thinking of our temperament.

A good example is when learning how to drive:
No matter your temperament, education or strata in society; the basic principle of driving - clutch, brake, accelerator and steering doesn’t change.

We all are mandated to learn the basics and thereafter our temperament or education level determines the finesse we put into it.

For me, I like things fast; so I drive fast and I’m impatient with slow drivers. Now that’s my temperament showing up, it still doesn’t remove the fact that in all these I’m still utilizing the driving principles - Clutch, brake, accelerator and steering. If I accidently stop applying the basic principles of driving, accident is sure and death could occur.

This brings us back to marriage. Yes our temperaments and situations will affect the finesse of our marriage but the basic principle has never changed.

What are the basic principles of marriage?

  • Commitment: taking responsibility to stay the long haul and pay the price.
  • Communication: speaking daily and ensuring that the other understands the message you are passing across, while giving room for feedbacks (or as we call it in KMA ‘Verifying’).
  • Teamwork: Have written goals and expectations of where you both are going (vision) and the part each of you will play in accomplishing these goals (mission).
  • Forgiveness: this is very crucial in building an intimate relationship with your spouse. We should learn the habit of letting go of past hurt and letting God in.
  • Prayer: every marriage will encounter a storm and to survive the storm you need an anchor. This is where prayer comes in.

Don’t forget - EVERY MARRIAGE IS UNIQUELY DIFFERENTLY BUT THE PRINCIPLES THAT DRIVE IT ARE THE SAME.

Love
Ngee & Rich
Founders of Keeping Marriage Alive Initiative
Will two people walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Amos 3:3 (CEB)

Loveskool Singles Hangout

on Tuesday, 25 April 2017. Posted in Blog

#SinglesHangout is a Loveskool event that brings the youth together with the intent to:

- Teach
- Learn
- Bond
- Network
- Grow together
- Dealing with topical issues prevalent in the singles environment
- Light Refreshments.

Are you single or engaged?

Don't miss this forum of like minded ladies/Gentlemen learning and having fun together.

 

Date: Saturday, 29th April, 2017
Time: 3 - 6pm
Venue: 1 Waheed Smith Street, Olive Estate, Opposite Apple Hall, off Ago-Okota Road, Amuwo-odofin, Lagos Nigeria.
Fee: N1000

RSVP - 08097283745, 08176068062, 08037225010
www.keepingmarriagealive.com

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