It took a while for me to admit that being different isn’t odd, but rather a good attribute. I was chubby while growing up and features like having big belly, breast, buttocks etc came along with the chubbiness. These features became one that I wouldn’t come to like when friends and family stigmatized me with names and made my look a thing of (harmless) gesticulation. I was sidelined from sporting games by friends during our play time and eventually if I get picked, it’s because they had no other better choice. I felt odd and became angry with myself because of my stature.
Why this story about myself?
The truth gradually came, that there was nothing wrong with me. The war which I fought on my own didn’t start until I built up my self confidence and told myself that I wasn’t ODD but UNIQUE. I became the 2nd fastest runner in my class (Primary 3&4) and coupled with my good grades in class, I had many pupils subscribing to be my friend.
The difference gap with Parents
Had I informed my parents about how I felt, things would have turned out different. The war, which I later had to fight on my own would have been tackled by my parents. I kept to myself and disclosed little or nothing about what was going on and how I felt about it to my parents even when they asked.
Many parents are not very involved in the personal and private life of their children. It is very important that parents see and be aware of what is going on in their wards life in order to make a difference as exceptional unique parents.
No matter the difference you think you’ve made, without a family to share the excitement, joy and moment with you it is incomplete. This Easter break is an opportunity to make a difference; join KMA’s Family Alive Retreat (March 25th – 27th @ whispering Palms Badagry.
It is most likely very difficult to break the children’s silence about what they are going through if parents had not cultivated the habit of asking and listening to their children from a tender age (communication and verification should be done daily).
There should be no gap between the parents and the children in order to make a true difference.
Uniqueness is the Difference
While brainstorming about this blog, it dawned on me that no matter how much 2 people look alike (even twins); their fingerprints and DNA are uniquely different from each other. There is always a unique difference (signature) that separates you from the look alike or copycats- you need to find that unique signature in your home, family, workspace, friendship and the society that differentiates you from the others.
Being different, looking different, sounding different isn’t a quality that should take away from you (- a feeling of being lesser), it should rather be a quality that builds you up to whom you were meant to be.
Unique Ideas – Ideas that make a difference
Someone once told me that; an average man gets between hundred to a thousand (100-1000) ideas daily but only few act on one (1) of the ideas. Out of these hundreds and thousands of daily ideas, there is at least an average rate of 10 new UNIQUE IDEAS (your brain child) but the fear of oddness, newness and strangeness gets hold on many and they fail to nurture, believe and act on these ideas. Until we stop seeing new ideas as odd but unique; we might not make a difference nor birth a different idea from the normal and usual ones.
The Unique Source
“And God said, let us create man after our own likeness”. The source and reason for our uniqueness is God. I often say we have the DNA of God in us and we have the potential and ability to stand out for greatness.
Don’t be okay with being the same or normal with the rest but rather, aspire to be better and live up to the standard of the best role model (Jesus Christ).
Your marriage shouldn’t be the same like others – (others aren’t there yet)
Your home shouldn’t be the same like others – (your family is your first assignment)
Your business shouldn’t be the same like others – (there are too many competitors)
Your friendship shouldn’t be the same like others – (it shows you are replaceable)
Your lifestyle shouldn’t be the same like others – (you are your own person not a copy)
Your ideas shouldn’t be the same like others – (remember you are unique)
Your service to God and mankind shouldn’t be the same like others – (it’s in your DNA to be different)
Philip Ekundayo (Phakon Sight)
Keeping Marriage Alive Initiative