The root cause of divorce…
The divorce rate is so high these days that it’s becoming alarming. From my current marriage data, 1 out of 2 couples (50%) want a divorce, while 95 couples out of 100 couples (95%) have thought of divorce at least once, myself inclusive.
Being a voracious reader and observer; I have come to the conclusion that the root cause of marital problems that leads to divorce is simply the ‘I factor’.
Let’s share one of our experiences to buttress what I mean:
2 – 3 years ago, hubby and I nearly got into a marriage rot. Hubby was transiting from paid employment to building his clinic full time, which was not easy on him. He found it difficult managing his time, so he began to sacrifice the home space and weekly routine of going to church as a family and time out.
We had to face the situation squarely. ‘Yes’, I was upset with the choices hubby was making but my complaining was not going to solve our problem either. Hubby realized his choices was affecting the family goals but what was the way forward?
We had to prayerfully discuss on the best plan that will not affect the clinic while nurturing and maintaining our family goals.
The adjustment was simple – we agreed to change our church service timing from 4th service to 2nd service. Yes, it was a sacrifice we all including the children were willing to make in order to achieve our goal as a family and preserve the clinic time.
A divorce proof marriage is God’s intent for every marriage. It is achievable but requires constant adjustment to the demands of marriage and to the needs of your spouse too.
Let’s constantly look beyond our needs and self-interests and build a great marriage.
Hubby and I still have many mountains to conquer but the way forward is to deal with the root cause of the problem – by removing the selfish nature called ‘I factor’. Learning to decide what is best for the marriage and incorporating the ‘WE factor’ which includes each other’s dreams. Our marriage is/will become unstoppable.
Dear Husbands and wives, can you replace the ‘I’ with ‘we’ and build a solid marriage that is Divorce proof?
Ngee & Rich
Founders of Keeping Marriage Alive Initiative
“Will two people walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Amos 3:3 (CEB).