Family Pattern – Part 1
Have you heard this story before?
A king loved women so much that he killed a loyal servant and friend, just to bed the man’s wife.
This led to the king losing his child, another child of his raped his sister (incest), his 1st son raped his (the king) concubines/wives and finally another son took over the throne and couldn’t control his lust for women; leading him to have 700wives and 300concubines.
Oh yes, you guessed right! It’s the story about King David and a perfect example of family pattern; its cause and effects on our children and ultimately the society.
Definition of Family and Pattern according to Merriam Webster dictionary –
• Family: the basic unit in society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children (this also includes a single – parent family).
• Pattern: a reliable sample of traits, acts, tendencies, or other observable characteristics of a person, group or institutions.
The 3 underlined words sum up what family pattern means:
• Rearing – Family is the production factory of the society, where the children are reared/trained/cared for by their parents (custodians/workers). A Scripture that sums up the importance of rearing our children is Proverbs 6:20 – My son, keep your father’s command, and don’t reject your mother’s teaching.
Whatever result, good/bad we see in the society is usually the product of the family.
• Traits – could be defined as inherited characteristics. Just like David – the areas he overcame, was the strength of his children and in the areas he failed woefully was the greatest area of weakness for his children too.
As parents, we should be intentional about overcoming our bad traits not for ourselves alone, but most especially for the children we have been given to nurture/rear. For the greatest training is to be the example we want our children to become.
As parents we are charged to birth a better generation than ours.
To do that we must grow our strengths and overcome our weaknesses, being good examples for our children to follow.
• Institution: a custom, practice, or law that is accepted and used by many people (Merriam Webster dictionary).
Marriage/Family is the institution where custom, practice or law is used and passed on to the society. As couples/parents we are intentionally or unintentionally passing down right or wrong practices to our children.
These children pass on these practices to their own children, creating a pattern that could destroy family/society or create patterns that build family/society.
Dear friend, will you be intentional about building a family pattern that brings life? The choice is yours.
Ngee & Rich
Founders of Keeping Marriage Alive Initiative
“Will two people walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Amos 3:3 (CEB).