Brokenness & Intimacy

Ngee says…

A dear friend came to visit us (hubby and I), and during our discussion, he asked a pertinent question – “why is there a high rate of issues and divorce in marriage?”

I replied with these words – “Brokenness: intimacy requires a level of brokenness and most people are not willing to be broken.

This has led me to share about the importance of brokenness in building an intimate relationship, especially in marriage.

Brokenness has 3 major characteristics:

1) Forgiveness – forgiving those who have hurt you

2) Acceptance – accepting and understanding that life comes with ups and downs, but our choices cum attitude will determine the outcome or result.

3) Letting God – Letting God in requires a level of TRUST. It doesn’t matter how painful the situation is; trusting God and giving Him the opportunity to mould our brokenness into light cracks of hope and love for others is the key.


Rich says…

The process of brokenness is usually through a painful experience which sometimes leave us weary and discouraged.

It is usually God’s work in us, breaking us and moulding us to fit his purpose and adaptable to our spouse.

We can yield to God and allow him complete his work in us or struggle with him and be frustrated through the process.

A while ago, I took 3 days alone to pray and ask God deep questions and He answered my brokenness with:

a) Guard your heart diligently

b) Allow ME to love you the way I (God) deem best for you.

If we don’t allow God into our broken parts, we become just cracked vessels that scratch and hurt others. But when we allow God in, those cracks/pains/brokenness becomes a healing balm of hope and love to others.

So it is in marriage; when issues crop up in the marriage, don’t run away rather allow it run its full course, for our brokenness fulfils the scripture – naked and not ashamed (Genesis 2:25).

With prayers, taking the lessons and applying the wisdom required per situation; both of you will come out with a deeper and better understanding of one another.

Will you embrace brokenness today by allowing God to love you the way He deems fit?

Ngee & Rich
Founders of Keeping Marriage Alive Initiative

“Will two people walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Amos 3:3 (CEB).

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