Managing your emotions in a complex marriage.


All marriages are complex because we human beings are complex in nature. What I call passion maybe boring to my spouse; what excites him might be what I cannot stand.

So how do I/we navigate through this complexities and build a harmonious marriage?
1) Take responsibility for your happiness –
Many of us assume that our spouse are in our lives to create and bring happiness. This is not true. You have to intentionally decide to be happy and this in turn attracts happiness from your spouse.

2) Control your thoughts –
This was hard for me, because I am a very passionate woman and the disadvantage of being passionate is sensitivity.
Years have passed and I am learning to control my thoughts when I am hurt, disappointed or things don’t go my way; especially with hubby. Sometimes, I even need to rebuke those thoughts especially when they magnify the faults of my spouse(husband).


We all feel various emotions in different situations. These emotions are real ,but we must make sure we respond and not react to situations.
Take a moment and think through – “will my actions make things better or worsen them?”

3) We are both flawed –
We all usually see ourselves better than we really are; but judge our spouse harsher than we judge ourselves.
Acknowledging that we are both flawed and taking responsibility for our flaws, is the beginning of building a harmonious marriage.

4) Anchoring on God and our vision –
Stability in marriage is a process that requires believing that someone(Creator) higher than you have got you both covered. This is very essential during trying times.
The goal/vision we are building is also another tool that keeps us together even when we fill like quitting or just being plain selfish.

Today, I beckon to you dear friend and reader to manage your emotions and complexities by applying these few steps everyday.

Ngee & Rich
Founders of Keeping Marriage Alive Initiative

“Will two people walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Amos 3:3 (CEB).

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