Two months ago we taught on this topic in our help seminar.But on request we decided to write on it. Few years back, at the middle of the night, I got a text message from a lady (patient & friend of my hubby). In her text massage, she talked about how close she was to my husband and that she will see him anytime she felt like and there is nothing I can do about it. I got up after reading the text message, and started shouting at my husband. He was just waking up and reacted, it escalated into a fight. The amazing thing was that by afternoon

(12 hours later) we were seated at our favourite joint sharing a meal. What caused such transformation or crisis to pass away just like that? It was our attitude towards the situation.


  1. Pray about it: 1 minute of lifting the situation can change your attitude. Pray before taking action in everything you do. In our story you could see that I didn’t pray before taking action, which resulted into a fight. But when we took it to God in prayer even after the fight, it helped to calm us down. One can’t be praying and shouting in anger at the same time. The best time to pray in a crisis is now. No matter how far gone it is.

    In a team when you win you win together likewise when you lose.

    Remember you are on the same side. You can hate the sin/mistake/offence but always endeavour to love your partner and give your spouse another chance.

  2. Remove Self: It is proven that when we take ourselves out of the situation and see it objectively or through the eyes of the other person, we understand better and the hurt is less. In our story, I decided to forget about myself and look at the scenario. While looking at the scenario, we understood that the lady’s intent was to cause discord and get an opportunity to draw closer to my husband.
  3. Stay with It: We grow most in time of crisis. Talk about the situation. Pretending won’t change the situation“everything worketh together for good, for those that love Christ” I discussed my hurt anddisappointment,and he listened. He also discussed why he reacted that way and I listened.
  4. Forgive Yourself and Others: When you don’t forgive yourself and others, It usually leads to thoughts of vengeance. Let go and let God. In our story, I forgave myself for reacting the way I did.I also forgave my husband who out of ignorance opened a door that would have cost us our marriage. When you forgive yourself and let others go, it gives you the opportunity to see the situation clearly and learn from it.
  5. Learn From It: While talking together about the situation. We realized that this happened because of the way we helped people in need.My husband had been helping the lady out with advices and finances, which led the lady into developing feelings for him. We realized that money to friends, patients, family etc should be given together. This shows unity and reduces the chances of such mistakes reoccurring. “WE CAN SHARE THE SAME EXPERIENCE BUT OUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS IT DETERMINES IT’S OUTCOME”. I’ve come to realize that anytime we are about to enter into another season of greatness in our lives, we are always stretched beyond our comfort zone or what we can usually bear. So it is in crisis, we are stretched more than we can bear, but if our attitude is right, it can birth greater things in our life. Shalom.


  1. What crisis are you going through now? Apply the five steps to a right attitude and see how it helps.
  2. Read James 1:5-8.


Ngee & Rich       

Founders of Keeping Marriage Alive Initiative

“Will two people walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Amos 3:3 (CEB).

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